Thought that I was destined
Destined to be nothing
Destined to be nothing in this world and then I met you.
Finding love with the right person has never been easier. Now, you no longer have to be at the right place at the right time to meet someone that you’re compatible with. With online dating, and a bit of science, you can easily find people you’re compatible with. As long as you put yourself out there a bit, you’ll be able to find a lasting love… or so they say.
I’m not new to online dating, as l have dabbled a little over the years. l have had good experiences and some horrific experiences too. Dating is like getting a massage, if it’s good, you’ll feel great afterwards, refreshed, optimistic, with a new lease on life. But if it’s bad, you’ll feel regretful, glum, and like you need to take a long shower. It’s difficult, and it can often not go as planned. We’re all used to the guy who can’t pay for dinner because he ‘forgot’ his wallet, and the date that just can’t get over their ex, or that guy that needs his mother along for moral support. Dates can be like that, you take the good with the bad and take it in your stride always keeping one foot in front of the other.
One of the amazing things about finding love through an online dating site is that most single people are on one. If you’re desperate to find love, you won’t find it. Often, you’ll hit this point where you’ll realise nothing you’re doing is working. Instead of dating, you should take a break from the search. This is your opportunity to improve yourself, build yourself up, and get in the right mindset. Shortly, after coming out of this break and trying again you will find love again, I’m a true believer that love happens, or at least finds you when you don't expect it… well, for me, it has.
To find love you need to know who you are. Ultimately, you want to find someone you want to learn more about and who wants to learn more about you. Otherwise, it’s just infatuation based on physical appearance. Who is the person at the core? That’s the exciting part. Every single person on the planet has a few amazing experiences and stories that led to who they are, focus on unravelling those stories out of them. You’d be amazed at how interesting everyone can be.
Believe it or not, most people have no idea who they are, and even more have no idea of what they want and desire in partner. Some of us do have pre-requisites, our future partner might need to be financial, professionally employed, have no children, drive an expensive car, have virtually everything in common, or look like Chris Hemsworth. I have never had any set preconceptions of the man l want to spend my life with. Of course, you have to be physically drawn to someone, but ultimately beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what l find attractive, you may not. You can meet someone and think ‘holy cow, this guy is all that and a bag of chips’, but a few dates later, you’re thinking ‘hmmm… he’s a sniffer and wants to lick my feet’, to you that might seem a little bizarre, and you’ll think ‘I’m not sure if he’s the one for me’ or you might embrace his quirkiness and think ‘well at least he likes how l smell and thinks my feet are beautiful’, so you give it a crack.
Do you really know someone until you actually live with them, that’s the million dollar question! As l know you all value my opinion, l would say… no, you don’t. From personal experience, you need to actually live with someone to know if they are truly the one for you. You can talk on the phone for hours on end everyday of the week, share photos, video, personally though, l don’t, no-one ever looks good on Facetime, you can basically have a full blown loved up relationship, but it’s not until you are physically in the same house as the other person to truly know them. Living 24 hours a day together you get to know their ways, what makes them tick, you see the good, bad, and ugly, for some of us it will be a dream come true… for others it’s suitcases on the driveway and a ticket back to Norway.
Do we believe in love at first sight? Some say no, others say yes, but until you actually experience it you are a doubter. I have experienced it, many moons ago on a trip to South Africa, I met someone l classify as the love of my life. I was at a beach bar in Durban called Joe Cools, and l walked up the stairs and saw this smiling face looking at me, l then smiled back and he walked over and said, ‘hi, I’m Jonty.' And that was it, the earth moved for me, and we became inseparable from that moment on. We spent all of our time together, exploring, travelling, foam parties, family get-togethers, the cricket, anything and everything. The months we spent together where the happiest time of my life, and although I had to come back to Australia, our time and the love we shared was like nothing l had ever experienced.
It’s important to remember that you can find love online, in-person, or at a Proclaimers concert. You never know when you’ll bump into the right person. So, keep your eyes open, wear your heart on your sleeve, be kind at every opportunity, and get to know people on a deeper level. And remember, it doesn’t matter how old you are. You can find love at any age. As long as you’re alive, love is everywhere. And it’s waiting for you to find it.
